Spring

I swear as I was walking around today, I could not help but notice the colors. Today would have been a great day to take photos outside. Even though the sky was grey and it was windy, somehow the colors looked even brighter. Maybe too much sunlight washes the color out. I don't really know the reason.
I didn't get a chance to take photos today. It seemed cruel to take a picture of a puffy eyed, wheezing ten year old. The eight year old was just frowning because she did not get to spend the day with me. Although her frown and the lovely flowers would have made an interesting composition, I did not do it.
Someone said to me that she hadn't realized I had been through so much. It kind of shocked me for just a moment, because I don't see my life that way. I really believe that everyone has their own pains and fears. Everyone has their own trials. Then I thought how lucky I am that mine have been mostly physical. I have always had a lot of hope, spirit and perserverance! I have always had a fantastic sense of humor because I decided long ago that it is better to get a laugh out of something than to wallow...and believe me, there has been plenty to laugh at!
No matter how hard I try to be a Great mom, I just fall short. I will just stroll along the path of motherhood and out comes a stop sign! It just is that way! I just don't think kids are meant to have perfect moms. I think it is wonderfully healthy for them to see mom stumble, err and even cry occassionally.
I want to tell one of my students about a thought I had when I was younger. You see, my dad is not just a lunatic, he is the most intelligent person I have ever met. He understands concepts that escape me completely. Even his explanations for some physics formulas make me want to cry out with my own limits. I never really saw myself as smart when I was a child. In fact, I was quite sure that my parents had surrounded me with a slower paced environment to protect my delicate, non functioning brain. I always knew the answers first. I always handed my tests in first, but in my feeble mind, I was just so beneath my father's intellect that I was sure that I was slow. Really slow.
Now of course I know that I am just fine. I am more than intelligent enough to survive this crazy game of life. I see this same thing in one of my students. Not necessarily about intelligence, but I can see that they are comparing their gift to a parents'. Each of us is so unique. For instance, both my father and my daughter are very musically gifted.. Kendra and her asthmatic lungs are not likely to play a tuba for the King and Queen of Spain. My father is not likely to sing a solo in front of hundreds of people. She does not worry that she is not as good as him at the tuba.
My gifts are a little more scattered. I am not stunning at any particular thing, but I am lucky that I have tried and succeeded at many. I have had a lot of amazing life experiences due to my short attention span and my willingness to learn.
I can see gifts in people everywhere. My friends are each amazingly different. They all absolutely fascinate me and could teach me a lot! I am lucky.
Someone once told me that life's challenges are what will give a person character and that some people have a lot more character than others. This was an answer to my question about why my great aunt was so "lively".
Let life's challenges give us all more character. That is where the laughs begin.