He Said to Keep Writing

    He saw my blog.

     I just wasn't thinking.

    I forgot that he reads my blog sometimes.

    Sigh.

     I am a schmuck.

    

     He said to keep writing about this. He said it might help someone else.

     According to the doctors, our situation is of course, rare, but sharing a planet with a couple of billion other people means there might be others living this right now also.

    Even if you have never had a heart attack, or a triple bypass, or a second heart attack...or been told, "There's nothing more we can do for you...", chances are, you have had dumbfoundingly horrible moments in your life.

     Every one of us has been at the crossroads. I call it the ultimate crossroads. There is that moment when you know that you have every right to be angry, throw a fit, become more demanding and selfish...and yet, you can see there is another possibility.

     You can see the possibility to remain calm and extend kindness.

     Okay, so maybe I am not the best at remembering to extend kindness. There are opportunities everywhere and I only pick up on a few cues, but I do try.

      I learned this when I got the call to take my youngest child for additional blood work. On the phone, I thought nothing of it. Sure, labs make mistakes, people drop vials, whatever. I could go where they were telling me to go and get her tested again. No big deal.

     I arrived at the address and asked directions at the information desk to the office. I was directed to another building, an elevator and when the elevator doors opened, I gasped.

     I was pushing a stroller through the doors thinking, "Somebody REALLY should have told me why we needed to come here." as I read the sign: Welcome to the Leukemia and Blood Disorders Unit.

     As we stepped off of the elevator, the waiting room was filled with regular children's toys and tables, and children with paper masks and no hair.

     Yes, I was scared when I received her diagnosis. I was terrified that I would not be able to provide a "normal" life for her...and then I remembered that each of those bald children with masks had mothers. Every day since then, I have said a prayer for those mothers. Please give them the strength they need each day.

    Perspective.  Yes, we all have common pain, we all have heartache. If we can remember that someone is suffering more right in that moment, we might take the time to thank more people, smile at someone who so obviously needs kindness or make some other small gesture.

      While we are preparing to chastise or mentally call someone names, perhaps we need some image in our heads to remind us of human compassion. Smiles are so easy to give. They are habit forming. It is much better at the end of a long hard day to fall asleep smiling, thinking of all of the good things, rather than whining, complaining and blaming.

     Oh, are you a cynic?  Maybe you should try your own scientific study. Grab your ipad, create a little spreadsheet with frown in one row and smile in the other. Use the columns to write the responses to each. Do smiles one day and frowns the next. See which day makes YOU feel better.

     Emotions are like viruses, they spread. Which carrier would you like to be today?