Head Schmack

   There was a moment today when I looked straight up and said, "Oooooh, I get it."

     I had been wallowing a bit.

     I had been so overwhelmed. (Excuses)

     Either way, there were a few days when I burst into tears several times.

     There have been a lot of days where I just barely trudged through the mud of life and survived without crying.

      So, I met someone.

      I met someone in so much pain.

      No broken bones, no cancer.

      No outward affliction at all.

      But the pain was prickly and poignant.

      This persons pain was visible from a distance.

     

      Some people are suffering so much.

      Some have lost more than I could ever imagine.

      Some are caught in that vicious netting at the bottom of a hole.

      Do you know what I mean?

      I have visited that hole.

      It is a horrible dark place where kindness can barely reach or be heard.

     It is a dirty, smelly damp hole of doom, gloom and hopelessness.

     I heard myself say the words, "Sometimes the hardest part of facing the next day is finding purpose and meaning. Once you know what your purpose is, the meaning comes along with it. Then each step gets easier."

      Insert head smack here.

      Yeah. I had come close to falling into that hole and getting caught in the net. 

      To be honest, I am not exactly sure if I am very far away from that hole, or if I am mere inches away.

      But I am not in it. I don't know exactly what my path will be, but I can see multiple choices.

       It's a shame I don't get to choose, but at least I can still see them.

      The purpose of the hole is to keep you from seeing those choices. It keeps you from remembering that you may have a purpose, a job to do while you are still on this planet.

       I watched this person reach up a little bit. A little while later, I saw them reach a little more.

       I wanted to be a cheerleader, "That's it! You are getting it! Keep coming!"

       It was all a reminder.

       What? It was a reminder that I should be grateful that I am not stuck in the net, flailing and praying for my own death. It was a reminder that part of my purpose is to not ignore someone when I see so much pain. It is a reminder that I have purpose.

      Okay, so it jostled my brain and brushed away some cobwebs.

      I can do this. I can do this for one more day.