Writing and other joys

My youngest child says to me this morning, "If I were to create a blog, it would just say, Save the Planet!"

I love to write. I always have. I have kept creative journals since I can remember. I have documented the fun times and the most painful events and it has shown me an aweful lot about people and myself. Somehow, writing it all down seems to help me make sense of it.

It can sometimes be easy to find my path has altered course a little at a time until my destination seems unrecognizable. This happens for my benefit and sometimes for my detriment.

If I had never altered my course at all, I would be an engineer in a research laboratory somewhere. At one time, I thought it was a good idea to get a job in the field I was studying and soon after, nixed the engineering course. Yes, I still would like to make a great discovery, or create a better version of something already in use, but I did not relish spending the greater majority of my time with more computers than people. I changed my direction. My writing showed me both that I felt isolated with so few people around, and that I really do still like the scientific process. I found more confidence in myself, not failure.

I don't even need to explain why dating requires altering ones course. I mean really. If I had married the first or second or hundred and fourth guy I went on a date with, who knows where I would be today.

I can say that I am making changes that will benefit my family and the planet, but if I look through my journal and seem the same, "maybe next time" statements, I know that I am not doing enough. It is accountability. It is peace of mind, it is a reminder that I am growing. It is self awareness that at one time in my life I loved chocolate and detested popcorn. It is a reminder that pitfalls in life are not the last chasm of doom. Most importantly, it has been a reminder that no matter what, I have made it through. I am not alone. I am heard. I am loved.

Each person I take the time to get to know, makes an imprint on my path. Some people have influenced me to try things that seemed completely beyond me. Some have reminded me of the value of a good friend. Human contact is precious to me. I am not "enough" on my own. I bend to my own will, I listen to my own judgement. Other people remind me of what is true. Other people remind me that I am not the smartest, nor the creator of all.

Imagine just how aweful I would be.....without my friends and my stories of them in my blog. I need a little of their stardust dropped on me often. I can write about it, and remember later when I think that all is lost, or that I am so special that "God is picking on me".

Because I am surrounded with the love of others, their stories of hope and pain, and their gentle reminders, I know that I am not so unique.  I am not the only one who has ever gone through this struggle and gift we call a life.  I know that I am not alone. I know that God is not picking on me.  Life is what it is.  It is sprinkled with joy, hope, calamity, excruciating pain and plenty of mystery.
 
Fortunately for me, mine provides plenty to write about.