A Dream

     I was awakened again at 2:30 in the morning by a very powerful dream. Many times I have dreamed of this woman.  I cannot remember her name. 

   Yes, I dream about this woman now, but this was a real event. In the early 80's, I was attending a school at a cold war military base overseas. It was a small school. The graduating class celebration was for 42 students. The entire school was for 7-12th grade students and yet somehow, this woman made time to stop in at our school and speak to us. I am forever grateful that she did take the time to visit our little school in the middle of nowhere....
     I remember being in our auditorium for a guest speaker. On stage was a chair and a small woman. That was it. No screen to view a movie. No posters on tripods. Just a small woman who looked like she could be anyone's grandmother.  She had short hair with large curls. The way grandmothers did then. She had a kind and wrinkled face.

    Then she began to speak.  The introduced herself and told us where she lived in the United States. Then she began.

    
      The most horrific story ever unfolded from a woman with the kindest face. As she continued her story, her wrinkles seemed deeper and her face seemed a bit sadder.

     She was a survivor from a concentration camp during Hitler's reign. The auditorium was absolutely silent as she told her story. She told us of the most evil, gruesome acts and of watching her family and best friend die in front of her eyes.

     The students at our school ranged from 12 years old (me), all the way to 19 (seniors).  Every single eye was on this woman. 

     After she spoke, we were encouraged to stay behind and meet her and speak to her. I stood in line for a LONG time. I thought and thought about what I would say or ask of her. When I finally got to the front of the line, I grasped her hand, looked deep into her kind eyes and said, "Thank you for telling us your story."

    I was only twelve, but I knew that it must be so hard to talk about such horrible things over and over. I wanted to see in her eyes that her heart and soul were okay.

    She had a message. Her message was to NEVER forget what had happened to her family and her friend. She wanted us to look at her. She wanted us to listen to her. She wanted us to see that she was a PERSON. She was not some strange dangerous creature that should have been hunted, tortured and killed. 

     She has been haunting my dreams a lot lately. Perhaps 9/11, the school and university massacres and the latest Sikh temple killings are bringing her to the front of my mind. 

    I believe that if you see people as persons; as humans, it is very difficult to slaughter them. It is the systematic dehumanization that allows someone to cross that line. 

    Systematic dehumanization? Okay, it is a fancy way of saying, "They", or "Those people".  It is used a LOT in every day conversation in this country. Be wary. Be careful. 

      Sometimes it can sound harmless, "Those Downs Syndrome kids are so loving and happy."   Guess what.  Kids with Downs Syndrome are kids. Some are happy and easygoing. Some throw horrendous hissy fits that could rival John McEnroe at Wimbledon. Some are outgoing and some are introverts.

     "They" are INDIVIDUALS.

      If you find yourself thinking "they" or "those people" maybe it is time to get to know "them" as individuals.

     There is no excuse for hate. Hitler used a LOT of excuses.  He blamed the Jewish people for the fall of the economy and the high unemployment rate. He also stated that the Jewish people were trying to take over the world.  He did this to implant in people that Jews were "different". 

     We are all unique individuals, but we are all people. We have learned so little. We continue to find "them" to target. In this country, we have a pretty reprehensible habit of doing this. Women could not vote, could not hold office, and were treated pretty poorly when our founding fathers wrote our constitution. Well, technically pirates stole people from Africa, we just purchased them... PUHLEEZ.  Wrong is wrong. I grit my teeth when I hear stories of how some one's great grandfather was different: They treated their slaves well? Really? So they released them? They helped them to get a home?

     If we were reading a story of a teenager kidnapped, beaten and forced to work for free, what would we do?  Okay... so it is NOT okay to justify the poor treatment of any human being.

    That is it. That is the entire message. "They" didn't know any better is not a relevant statement.  There were a lot of families who did not own slaves. It was a choice.

     This is the deepest darkest truth.  We should never teach our children to justify their behavior by what is going on around them. The "if they are doing it, it's okay if we do it" is why we have able bodied people using their parents blue parking card to park closer to the store so they can just "run in".   It is wrong. It doesn't matter that you saw someone else do it.

      Oh, so you see that group picketing a funeral so it's okay if you do something less abhorrent? NO, you should be on your most respectful behavior at a funeral.  The family deserves nothing less from you.

        Sometimes no matter how uncomfortable, or boring, or not fun something is, we have to put our collective feet down and say "NO", it is not okay.

       Every time we are using the phrases, "they" or "them" or "those people" in a derogatory or disrespectful manner, we are disrespecting the entire human race. That's right. When it comes down to it, we are the human race. WE. That is a better word. 

      Bad is bad, sin is sin, evil is evil. Call it what it is. Chastise yourself.  Do better.  There are no levels of bad. There are no grades... "Well at least I didn't beat her."

        If you are being selfish, unkind, mean or evil, stop it. 

        Look into the eyes of an old woman. See her kindness, her pain and her life.

       I will never forget her. I will never forget her message. There is not worthy hate. Be kind and get to know people. You do not have to like every person, but dislike that person as an individual. 

       We all deserve to be treated as individuals. We all desire to do the best for our children. We all desire to feel safety, but not at the expense of another.

        There are a lot more things we have in common.  In my dream, I can still see her kind eyes, filled with pain.

         Perhaps we can create more eyes that shine with joy and humor...

       In my dream we can.