I know when I was 17, the life I have now is not something I could have or would have appreciated. I saw my future going very differently. I had left my friends and the family I knew to move to a country that seemed to be filled with novelty.
My goals were simple. Get through college as quickly as possible so that I could be the millionaire-genius I was born to be. I know that sounds so funny if you know me now.
When I was a child, I was always the youngest kid in my class. I was told constantly that my test scores were "off the charts" and that I was very wise for my years. Just so you know, if you are doing this, it is a recipe for disaster.
Nobody had prepared me for failure. Classes were never difficult for me. My grades were completely within my control. I was never in a situation where I had tried, and worked and it didn't follow with success..
Even my medical issues had always ended in success. Big deal. I have spina bifoda and spent some time in a wheelchair. I was able to work my way through that to be stronger than ever. See?
The reason why I now laugh at my 17 year old goals is that my goals today could not be any different. I have since experienced things that I could not control. I have had things in my life that I could not "work" my way through. Life is like that. Most people are fortunate enough to learn what to do with those events much earlier in life. I chose the pouting stubborn route.
Yes, I did get an 'A' on my Physics final. I was also able to do chemistry formulas inside outside and upside down.. But there were concepts in each class that were simply beyond my comprehension.
I have learned that being the "smartest" when taking a test means absolutely nothing in the real world. I know people who can barely read, cannot drive a car, or who simply have a great deal of cognitive difficulty that I admire much more. I have also learned that having high test scores by themselves hold absolutely no value for me. There is more to life than a number. Big deal. So you have an I.Q. of _____, now what are you going to do? Who will you love?
Speaking of numbers, really once the basic necessities are met, money can just cause problems. If the basic necessities are not met, money can be very important. When it stands between your children and food, that is when it matters, other than that, it really doesn't. The people who love me, do not know my income, or my home value. They simply care about me, not my wallet.
Sooo.... many years ago I took a class on the value of intelligence tests. It was a class I did not need but I somehow found myself there. I thought it would just be another certification to add to my portfolio, but it turned out to be so much more.
The professor started out by asking, "How many of you know your I.Q. score?" Several of us raised our hands. "What if I told you the average I.Q. of prison inmates is between 80-95?" I sucked in my breath.
Here we go, I thought, we are going to have an elitist conversation... Ugh... I started to pack my pens and notebook. (Yes, this class was so long ago that I carried paper.)
Then she said, "Imagine if your I.Q. was listed on your driver's licence. Imagine that everywhere you go, you are judged by that number. You can't do this because your IQ is too low. Or, wow, your IQ is high, why haven't you done more?"
OK, NOW she had my attention. Every day, I had to write down clients I.Q.'s before I wrote out their plans, goals and assessments. Once each month, clients were evaluated based on these plans with a graded system. They received either 'acheived', 'exceeded', 'working' or 'non-compliant'. I had already found 'non-compliant' to be a nasty one. On paper, it appeared to indicate that a client, or lets just say person, was not participating or defiant. In reality, it was often that a goal or plan was simply a mistake. I had two clients with exactly the same I.Q.score. One was able to read and fill their shopping basket with appropriate items from the grocery store. The other was not able to read, but could tell you how to plant corn, tomatoes, onions and many other vegetables in great detail.
The plans and goals rarely included any farming. This client had been given a goal of grocery shopping for appropriate items with the ability to discern which of two identical products was cheaper. Often, I would review his logs and see 'non-compliant'. More than once I had to battle his psychiatrist about the sensibility of his plan. He was cooperative, well mannered, and kind, but on paper, he just appeared as 'non-compliant'.
OK... so I am not throwing out the baby with the bathwater. Numbers and money have their place. We should remember what their place is. It is impossible to assess a situation mearly with a spreadsheet, just as it is impossible to assess a humans life based on an I.Q. number.
I think more than one person would notice if I disappeared. I believe that is what makes me a success. I love and am loved. That is truly what this time is all about.
With love, I can do much more than with a high I.Q. With love, I can do much more than money can buy. Most importantly, I tell people I love them. Every one of us needs to feel loved. Every one of us can grow by loving another.
I may not be Einstein or Leibniz, but I know what is important.
P.S. (To be fair, I believe Albert Einstein knew also. I have read his works and he had genius thoughts about more than mear mathematics and physics.)
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