I am generally comfortable being myself. Sometimes I do admit that I temper myself out of respect for others, but tend to squirm quickly if I am not able to just be who I am.
I am completely fascinated by those who seem to vary from this so greatly. My poor daughter is in some sort of transformation between little girl and adult. It's pretty painful to watch as I often feel like she is trying on personalities. Some days she is overly kind and helpful. Other days she is completely passive as if life is too meaningless for her. Then occassionaly, I see her try to be mean, really mean. Some days she tries on the popular, everybody loves me snob personality.
I know she will find that who she really is will be sort of a blend of all of these personalities that she is trying on. I know that she will find confidence and poise. I am counting on it. Because in the meantime, it is a little like living in an asylum. I never know when I open her door in the morning what will be coming out. Will she be Miss energetic? Will she be sullen and depressed? Will she snap at her sister for existing in the same house? Will she offer everyone a cup of tea? We never know.
I have stopped talking to other mothers of pre-teen and teen daughters because there is not a lot of positivity about this. Most seem to advise that will last for years. That is not helpful to me. I don't have "years" worth of patience for this. I know that right now, I can shake if off, gently guide her toward humanity and move on. I don't know how many times I can do this without also becoming sullen, snappy and mean.
For her sake, and the sake of her younger sister, I pray this does not last for years.
I know she will find that who she really is will be sort of a blend of all of these personalities that she is trying on. I know that she will find confidence and poise. I am counting on it. Because in the meantime, it is a little like living in an asylum. I never know when I open her door in the morning what will be coming out. Will she be Miss energetic? Will she be sullen and depressed? Will she snap at her sister for existing in the same house? Will she offer everyone a cup of tea? We never know.
I have stopped talking to other mothers of pre-teen and teen daughters because there is not a lot of positivity about this. Most seem to advise that will last for years. That is not helpful to me. I don't have "years" worth of patience for this. I know that right now, I can shake if off, gently guide her toward humanity and move on. I don't know how many times I can do this without also becoming sullen, snappy and mean.
For her sake, and the sake of her younger sister, I pray this does not last for years.
No comments:
Post a Comment