Post Near Death Experiences....

There was a blip on the evening news tonight about a man who had suffered  Post Concussion Syndrome. For those of you who do not know, this is basically a diagnosis given when the symptoms of concussion continue far longer than a normal concussion. Some people never recover, some recover after a few months, some recover partially. 
The point of this news story was that after recovering, this man began to give everything away. He had been very wealthy, and at the close of the story, was living in a 1000 square foot mobile home and had very few possessions.  He felt that his PCS had changed his perspective and he realized that greed and money were never going to make him happy.
Some who know me may think that I am going to relate with this since I quit a very secure and well paid position to pursue a career in the poverty of teaching.
I did think about the similarity just a little, but most of all, I felt very sad for this man. Clearly he was not happy before the concussion. Clearly, he was still searching for happiness.
Yes, I made some pretty major changes to my life. It might have seemed as extreme as giving away all of my possessions. I may have a love of technology and gadgets, but I have never drawn my source of happiness from them.
My heart stopped for a time, and I have no stories to tell of "the other side".  Clearly, I was not meant to be dead at that time, or I would be. It is that simple for me. I did not have any near death epiphany.  The brain injury changed my life. It shook my confidence. We all know life is short, but live our lives in the bubble that it is something we read about others. I got a face to face look at the possibility of never spending another Christmas with my children. I also recovered my ability to speak and read, but there are things that I have not yet recovered. These are the events that changed my life.
I got to see that my priorities and my time on earth did not exactly match. The reality was that my job was not going to become any less demanding. I was not finding job satisfaction that could balance how I felt about saying "No, I'm sorry, but I have to go to work early." so often. My priorities are my children.
I try not to get too caught up in the near death epiphanies that others talk about. I heard no voice. I saw no light. I was given no "special" instruction. I don't mean to dash anyone's hopes. I think when it is the right time, it will be exactly the way it is supposed to be. A peaceful release from the trials this life has to offer. 
Having said that, I think it is a gift to appreciate the time we have. I am ever mindful of how I spend my time now. I try not to live in worry, anger or general discontent. I try to look for the smiles in the room instead of wondering who may not like me. So... maybe I did have an epiphany of sorts. I have always felt this way, but I am much more concious of it now. It does not just exist in books for me now. It is my bubble. I am careful with my bubble.
I have made peace with a great many issues as I prioritize my time. I cannot relive the last nine hours if I have allowed frustration to own them.
  I was given a gift when my heart was repaired. I have never had a healthy heart, and the repair itself did damage compounding the damage done by my heart fighting against itself. The surgery was no guarantee that I would live into my eighties, it simply borrowed a little more time for me to tell my children just how much I love them.
One of the things I have used my time for the most is simply talking with my children. We take walks, we turn off all electronics at home and sometimes just talk, sometimes we play games, sometimes we have a project. My kids have a lot to say, about everything.  There is no TV show more entertaining than my child's story about a bunny and butterflies, nor an app that is more important than a shared concern.
It will never be April 26th, 2011 again, and for the most part, I feel like we used our time well. Maybe I did get that epiphany after all.