Schedule v. Sanity

I like to be prepared. I like to shop ahead, cook ahead, plan ahead. I used to do this to a fault. If the plans didn't work out due to life circumstances, I felt myself unravelling. I would become completely incapacitated with the "unscheduled" events of life.
I was in the process of complete self destruction when my youngest was released from the hospital. I had a toddler with severe asthma who visited the hospital regularly and an infant that had just barely survived meningitis. She was supposed to be my fat, healthy baby and my world was completely shaken. I had been at the hospital around the clock for six days. I had gotten nothing done during that time. Not only were the plans for that week in a shambles, but the plans were never made for the following week. I was BEHIND!
I was sure that this was the end. I would not be able to catch up. I could see my entire life pulling apart at the seams. I would have to work around the clock to catch up, I would be too tired to do a good job, I would be fired, I would not be able to provide asthma medicine, we would be homeless. It was snowballing in my mind.
Then I heard the most profound question ever. "Does everyone in your family have three pairs of clean underwear?"
This may seem like a crazy question to ask someone in the midst of an anxiety attack. Someone so overwhelmed by life and all of it's demands, but I could feel the earth stop moving. For just a moment, I stopped worrying about the laundry, the meals, the schedules, the charts for meds and just stopped.
I could suddenly see that this situation would not last forever. If I wanted to truly experience every moment I could with these precious girls, I could not give my moments away to worrying about these schedules. I would not allow the fear of "winging it" destroy my time on earth. Yes, we all had at least three pair of clean underwear.
I have had the gift of having someone around me say exactly the right thing at the right time to remind me of the true reasons for being here. All I have to do is listen and be willing to hear it.
Now, I can tell you that I still make schedules, lists of questions, try to plan ahead and shop the off season to save money. Now, instead of being sure that these things are the way to success, I see them as merely tools to help prepare for the days when "life happens". I can get behind now without tears. It will be okay. I am doing the best I can and even right now, we all have three pairs of clean underwear, so today is a complete success.

PS. I also still quietly celebrate July 30, the day my baby was released from the hospital and given the "all clear". I still remember the day that it began, but I refuse to give it time on my calendar. I will be joyful and celebrate my baby conquering meningitis. There is more power in that. I pray for everyone who has to wait to see if their child will wake up as I do not believe there has been a darker time in my life. Please remember to celebrate the victories!